Sometimes it seems like my life is a series of music videos. At times I’ve heard a song I hadn’t heard in a long time and it touched something within me, bringing forth emotions I thought were buried or at least not foremost in my mind at that moment. I was walking on the treadmill the fall after my one cousin committed suicide. I put an old CD in my portable player and I was fine until the line “shame you left my life so soon, you should’ve told me” was sung in the song “Far Behind” by Candlebox, then I started crying. I had a similar experience walking on the bike trail when the song, “Vision of Loneliness” by Bobbi Cryner started to play the spring after my step-dad died. I think the explanation for this phenomenon is fairly simple: these songs gave me something concrete to express feelings I either didn’t know I felt or could not articulate. Maybe they provide legitimacy or just the simple feeling that “someone gets me.”
My honors speech instructor in college had a similar theory; she opined that people who were constantly listening to music through headphones as they walked through campus were lost souls and they needed the music because they didn’t have the words or the capacity to express themselves; the music provided a kind of escape. I was one of those students whose ear phones stayed in until the moment the professor opened his or her mouth and were stuck right back in as soon as he or she said, “dismissed.”
Following are the rest of most of my favorite bits of songs residing in my iPod.
And drift away
I wanna drift away
far away from here
where nobody can find me now,
where nobody can touch me yeah,
when you’re down and lonely
when you wanna drift away.
Wait I wanna go
take me away from here now,
let your guitar soothe me, move me.
When you’re feeling down and lonely
but you know that you’re the only one.
Drift Away-Written by Mentor Williams, Performed by Judson Spence
And yesterday peddling down fourth avenue
between the stalls and the books shops,
sepia tones of a lost afternoon
cradled a curio store front.
And inside the air was thick with the past
as the dust settled onto his heart,
and here for a moment is every place in the world,
and ideas are like stars.
They fall from the sky,
they run ’round your head,
they litter your sleep as they beckon.
They teach you to fly without wires or thread;
they promise if only you’d let them.
For the language of longing never had words
so how did you speak from your heart?
And here’s a box that swears it has heard
that ideas are like stars.
Ideas Are Like Stars-Written and Performed by Mary Chapin Carpenter
You have taken the heart of me
and left just a part of me
and look, look, look what you’ve done.
Well you took all the best of me
so come get the rest of me
and look back, finish what you’ve begun.
Be done.
There is someone you ought to meet,
it’s me, Mr. incomplete,
look at what I’ve become.
For it’s due to the lack of you
that I’m now only half of two.
Look back, finish what you begun.
Be done.
Come and sit by my side
where there’s nothing to hide
and we’ll try to decide
what you needed.
But from where I stand today,
I can’t think of a way
nor the words that I might say
that could change your mind and make you stay,
oh no, not for all the times I pleaded.
Look, look, look what you’ve done.
You have taken the best of me
so come get the rest of me
and look back,
finish what you begun or be done.
Look What You’ve Done-Written by James Arthur Griffin and Robert Wilson Royer, Performed by Bread
I guess something must have happened
and we must’ve said goodbye
and my heart must have broken
though I can’t recall just why,
the song remembers when…
Well for all the miles between us
and for all the time that’s passed,
you would think I haven’t gotten very far.
And I hope my hasty heart
will forgive me just this once
if I stop to wonder how on Earth you are.
But that’s just a lot of water
underneath the bridge I burned
and there’s no use backtrackin’
around corners I have turned.
Still I guess some things we bury
are just bound to rise again
for even if the whole world has forgotten
the song remembers when.
The Song Remembers When-Written by Hugh Prestwood, Performed by Trisha Yearwood
I don’t take my whiskey to extremes,
don’t believe in chasin’ crazy dreams.
My feet are planted firmly on the ground
but darling when you come around
I get carried away by the look
by the light in your eyes
before I even realize the ride I’m on,
baby I’m long gone.
I get carried away nothing matters
but bein’ with you
like a feather flyin’ high in the sky on a windy day,
I get carried away.
It might seem like an ordinary night,
same old stars,
the same old moon up high,
but when I see you standin’ at your door,
nothin’s ordinary anymore.
Carried Away-Written by Steve Bogard & Jeff Stevens, Performed by George Strait
Hey didn’t you believe it
when I told you I was leavin’?
Well, wait a little while
and soon you’ll be believing.
I’m tellin’ you now like I told you before
that love has got to something more than a past time.
This is the last time.
This is the last time that I will say goodbye.
You say it doesn’t mean a thing,
let’s see what the future brings.
In the past I’ve changed my mind
but this has got to be the last time.
Well, didn’t you believe it
when I said you don’t know how to love me?
You never understood that you weren’t so high above me.
I didn’t realize ‘til a moment ago
that time doesn’t really go this slow when it’s a past time.
This is the last time.
This is the last time that I will say goodbye.
The Last Time-Written by James Arthur Griffin and Robert Wilson Royer, Performed by Bread
World was on fire and no one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you
and I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you.
No I don’t want to fall in love,
no I don’t want fall in love with you.
What a wicked game you play to make me feel this way,
what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you,
what a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way,
what a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you
and I don’t want to fall in love.
Wicked Game-Written & Performed by Chris Isaak
In my own life, the thoughts I drift away,
does summer come for everyone,
can humans so what prophets say?
If I die before I learn to speak,
can money pay for all the days
I’ve lived awake but half asleep…
Life is time they teach you growing up,
seconds ticking kill the soul
a million years before the fall,
you ride the waves and don’t ask where they go,
you swim like lions through the crest
and bathe yourself in zebra flesh.
Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth—Written by Chris O’Conner, performed by Primitive Radio Gods
We can never know about the days to come
but we think about them anyway.
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
or just chasin’ after some finer day.
Anticipation-Written and Performed by Carly Simon
I felt it when the sun came up this morning,
I knew I could not wait another day.
Darling there is something I must tell you,
a distance voice is calling me away.
Until we find a bridge across forever,
until this grand illusion brings us home,
you and I will always be together.
From this day on you’ll never walk alone.
You’re a part of me, I’m a part of you,
wherever we may travel, whatever we go through.
Whatever time may take away
it cannot change the way we feel today
so hold me close and say you feel it to.
You’re part of me, I am part of you…
We can never know about tomorrow
but still we have to choose which way to go.
You and I are standing at the crossroads.
Part of Me, Part of You- Written by G. Frey and J. Tempchin, Performed by Glenn Frey
I’m headed for somewhere I’ve been in my dreams.
Oh I wanna go where a soul feels alive
and the untasted honey waits in the hive,
yeah I wanna be where a free spirit thrives
and the untasted honey waits in the hive…
call it heaven on earth, call it fools’ paradise,
I’m gonna to find it if it takes all of my life.
Untasted Honey-Written by Barry Alfonso & Craig Bickhardt, Performed by Kathy Mattea
Now maybe I did not mean to treat you bad
but I did it anyway.
Then maybe some would say your life was sad
but you lived it anyway…
then someday we can take our time
to brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
but you left me far behind…
some would say you’re left with what you had
but you couldn’t share the pain, no, no, no,
couldn’t share the pain they watch you suffer,
hmm-mm, now maybe I could have made my own mistakes
but I live with what I’ve known
then maybe we might share in something great
won’t you look at where we’ve grown
won’t you look at where we’ve gone.
Then someday comes tomorrow holds
a sense of what I fear for you in my mind
as you trip the final line.
And that cold day when you lost control,
shame you left my life so soon
you should have told me
but you left me far behind…
some would say you’re left with what you had
but you couldn’t share the pain.
Now times have changed,
your friends have gone,
they watch you crumble to the ground,
they watch you suffer,
yeah they hold you down, hold you down…
didn’t mean to treat you bad…
but you left me far behind.
Far Behind-Written and Performed by Candlebox
I don’t remember a voice on a dark lonesome road
when I started the journey so long ago.
I was only just trying to outrun the noise,
there was never a question of having a choice.
Jesus or genie, maybe they’ve seen me
but who would believe me I can’t really say.
Whatever the calling, stumbling and falling,
I’ll follow it knowing there’s no other way.
The Calling-Written and Performed by Mary Chapin Carpenter
I wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t see
and all I have left now are words you said to me.
Sing your song sweet music man,
‘cuz I won’t be there to hold your hand like I used to,
I’m through with you,
you’re a hell of a singer and a powerful man
but you surround yourself with people who demand so little of you…
sing your song sweet music man.
You travel the world with a six piece band
that does for what you ask them to
and you try to stay young but the songs you sung
to so many people who’ve all begun
to come back on you.
So sing your song sad music man.
You’re making your livin’ doin’ one night stands,
they’re through with you,
they don’t need you,
you’re still a hell of a singer but a broken man
but you’ll keep on looking for one last fan to sing to…
I believe in you.
Sweet Music Man-Written and Performed by Kenny Rogers
