I’ve been thinking lately–there are hundreds of books on the shelves (several on mine) promising to lead the way to publication. They all have a proven method; write this way, submit this way, negotiate this way, pray this way, and wish really really really hard this way and you too will have a beautifully perfect bound glossy hard-covered book and a big fat advance check to go with it. The proof? Well, you’re holding it in your hands!! If I can do it, ANYONE can do it.
But I think, really–ANYONE can do it? What if I can’t do it? Where is the book that tells you how to fail ever getting published? And then when you do fail, how to get your life back on track? Where is the book explaining how to know when it’s time to just give up and accept the fact you suck at writing and are wasting your time?
Not only is there no such publication, there will never be any such publication (unless self-published, I suppose, but then you enter a whole other realm of what many consider, justified or not, failure). There will never be such a book because the fact someone out there is holding the book in their hands would eliminate the author’s credibility. How can someone write about something convincingly when they haven’t actually accomplished the subject of their manuscript? The moment the book is published, the author would cease to be an authority on failing at writing or publication–they would automatically become a failure at failing at writing or publication; they are published!!
Of course, these guides to the holy grail of writing all tell you failure is inevitable or at least it seems so. They say you will rack up hundreds, perhaps thousands, of rejection letters before that one magical assistant happens to be in a reading mood at just the moment your query or manuscript brushes past their desk then passes it on to their superior who also magically is in a reading mood. I KNOW, they say, because this book was rejected for three years before I found a sucker willing to publish it. And you believe that author because you are holding their masterpiece which really isn’t all that spectacular, certainly no better than what you could produce, and you persevere.
The rejections you get from potential publishers and agents are akin to the enabler who assures an alcoholic that one beer won’t hurt them. Writers’ egos are at the same time overinflated and shaky; the rejection letter writer doesn’t want to damage anyone’s self esteem or be responsible for quashing the aspirations of the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling so their form letters generally include the message essentially saying just because I think your manuscript, idea, etc. sucks doesn’t mean everyone else will; keep trying and keep writing.
I wonder, though, how many of these individuals inputting your name and address into their form letters are chuckling and thinking, “There’s no way in hell, heaven or Earth this fool will EVER get published!” Wouldn’t it be kinder to just tell the author, “You know what, we did everything we could but no amount of resuscitation, electricity or injection will ever bring this manuscript to life. Please consider giving up this illusion and getting a REAL job”?
But then I suppose the over-inflated part of the ego would kick in and dismiss the advice. What do they know? They’re just one of hundreds of over-worked underpaid screeners. After all, my great aunt Sally loved my manuscript and assured me I’d be famous some day. I will show Mr. Smarty Pants; I WILL get my book published. Then the circle of the writing life will continue and God-willing when heaven, the moon, the stars, the galaxy and the whole damn universe align, I WILL have a glossy hard-covered beauty in my hands along with at least a modest advance or royalty check and then I can write one of those “How to Get Published Even Though You Wonder if You Suck” guides. The proof? You’ll be holding it in your hands!!
