Purse. Handbag. Tote. Satchel. Bag. Whatever you call it; men don’t seem to understand it. A question I hear every now and then from my husband is, “Why do you need another purse?” My answer is always some variation of I needed a new one because I didn’t like my old one. Then he asks, “I thought you really liked that purse when you got it.” Well, I did think I was going to like it when I got it and now – it is just not right. Men carry few essential items including identification, credit cards, cash and perhaps a photo or two. They have just a couple of options for carrying them: the money clip and the tri-fold or the bi-fold wallets. So sorry, dear, if your argument you use your wallet until the leather wears away isn’t relevant to me.
Here is what I have to carry with me at all times in addition to the identification, credit cards, and cash (I don’t even take up space with any photographs): reward/club cards, YMCA cards, library cards, notepads and pens for when you need to write a note, band aids for when you cut your finger, ibuprofen for when you have a headache, nail clippers, coupons, hand sanitizer, toothpicks, lotion, and a cell phone (because unless it is essential due to the nature of your job or job uniform, cell phones just don’t look right clipped to a girl’s waistband). So we need something a little more substantial to carry our things. Because we have never found the purse which meets all of our needs we are always on the lookout trying to find it. Somettimes we think we have then we get it home, we try to load it and find out it is too small. Or we use it awhile and find out the straps are too short or too long or too wide, etc. We know what we need in a purse but nobody can get it quite right.
I have yet to find the perfect purse. It can’t be too big or too small. It has to fit what I need but not allow too much extra space to allow for lazily throwing in unnecessary items because then it gets too heavy and makes my back ache. If the straps are not just the right length and width, it will constantly slip off my shoulders which is just annoying. And I’ve yet to find the correct combination for alleviating that problem. If it is not slipping off of my shoulder it is yanking my hair out by its roots. There are either too many pockets are not enough – or they are not the right sizes or in the right locations. It is too wide, too tall, not wide enough or not tall enough. If it gets close to being the right size with the right pockets and compartments, it is ugly – it is a hideous color, made out of plastic looking material or has odd ornaments hanging from it.
I think maybe I should go into the purse designing business. Whenever I have had enough with my current purse and decided the dozen or so purses in my closet just will not work and I browse the purse sections of my local stores, I always see women just like me. They search through the racks of purses, sometimes more than once in hopes their super-purse is hiding in the back somewhere. They pick them up, open them, run their hands through the insides and into the pockets to see if their cell phones fit, and sling it over their shoulders to check out the straps. Then they usually put them back looking rightfully annoyed and disgusted. Even if they do keep the bag they’ve inspected, they still do not look happy. The disappointment is transparent in their faces; you can tell this is not really their dream purse but it is the closest they can find so they are going to make the most of it, settle and try to make it work.
The funny thing about purses is price doesn’t seem to matter. There have been a few times I’ve decided money is no object, if I’ve got to sacrifice two weeks of groceries for a purse, it will be worth it to have the purse I’ve always wanted. However, I’ve not even been able to find an expensive purse with everything I need. As a matter of fact, it seems the more expensive the purse, the more impractical it is. It’s just a big hole in fancy material.
I need organization. I need to be able to keep my purse neat and tidy without looking like I’m ninety years old. I want it stylish but I don’t want to have to switch everything out every day because my purse doesn’t match my clothes. I need pockets on the outside and on the inside. They need to be big enough to hold my PDA. I need two or three purses which have almost hit the target to be combined into one super purse. My current purse is short but long with two side pockets and one flat zip pocket on the front. It has three interior compartments and the strap is medium length. My last purse was taller but shorter with two good sized pouch pockets on the front and a zip pocket on the back with three interior compartments. The strap was a little bit long for me. So if I could get a purse about as wide as my current one and as tall as my previous one with two side pockets, two front pouch pockets, a back zip pocket, three interior compartments and a medium length strap, I’d be set. Or would I?
